Do you ever just feel like you’re spinning your tires? I don’t know if it’s ADHD or passion, maybe a little bit of both, but I hyperfocus, work, and push so hard to succeed. It can get exhausting and be a bit defeating when all that work seems to be for naught. It can be so disheartening to put all your love and energy into your dreams and goals and nothing ever seems to change or you see little returns.
You internalize and wonder what you could do differently. Am I too much or not enough? It’s not easy being a person who overthinks and feels deeply. Add social media and content creation and you wonder if you’re reaching and touching the people who need to see you and your artwork the most.
Am I just embarrassing myself, giving too much, or too little? Being an artist working to accomplish something with your art is difficult as it is, without the added pressures of social media. I could put on a happy face every day, but the reality is I’ve been doing this for so long, some days I feel like giving up and I want to be authentic.
It’s been a rough couple of years for me with my health and the state of the world. Am I making a difference? Does my art matter? I believe so, even if I can’t see the results/effects. At least, I hope so. I know my art helps me. It helps me cope and it helps me express myself.
I’ll keep working towards my dream of being a licensed artist. But today is hard. Not all days are easy or good, but that’s alright. That’s the nature of it, I suppose, and I’m still learning and growing. I’m doing my best and I’ll just have to be patient with myself. And if you ever feel this way, as an artist, just know you aren’t alone. Many artists feel this way, from time to time.
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